This newsletter is brought to you by:

Illustration: Planet Crypto for Blockworks

Weekly Recap

Dear Sir or Madam,

Howey, Cheatum and Wye is a professional legal services firm representing the United States of America and its many agencies and regulators, including the SEC, the IRS, the FTC, the CFTC, and the FU.

You are receiving this notice because it appears from your social media presence and/or the substantial capital gains taxes you have contributed to the United States economy that you may be interested in “cryptocurrency”, “digital assets” or “NFTs” (collectively “the prohibited activity”).

We would like to note that building or engaging with a company that either directly, or indirectly, or tangentially, or possibly, has anything to do with “the prohibited activity” is grounds for deportation to somewhere unpleasant.

Under the mandates established by Authoritarian Decree 1-56-898 section C, subsection a(2), paragraph 7 (revised) you are further notified that your right to engage in pursuing opportunities related to financial empowerment of any sort is curtailed as of this writing, and that efforts on your part to better your situation will lead to the removal of at least one, but not more than three, minor appendages (with extreme prejudice).

You are further given notice that the acquisition, ownership, disposition, or occasional wistful glance in the direction of cryptocurrencies is moving henceforth from a class IV misdemeanor to a class II felony, punishable by seven years in a Minnesotan hard labor camp and/or a romantic dinner with Gary Gensler.

We request (require) the pleasure of your attendance at a “Build A Firewall” ceremony to be held outside the New York Stock Exchange next week. The United States has concluded that sending cryptocurrency offshore will absolutely and definitely work, and that a tremendous, beautiful, shiny firewall will prevent undesirable cryptos from sneaking across our digital border.

We will be contacting you shortly to ensure that you have read and understood these rules, so do please study for your upcoming Howey test. We will not be clarifying any of the questions, and we will decide the correct answers based on our mood, whether we’ve had enough coffee, and the result of the Bengals game last night.

Finally, the United States government is currently outside your front door, and we have guns.

We thank you for your continued support of the United States of America, and the freedom for which it used to stand.

Sincerely,

Irma Crooke, Partner at Howey, Cheatum and Wye

P.S. Here at Howey, Cheatum and Wye, we are a family-friendly firm, and that family is the Corleones. So please think twice before you ignore this notice.

Note: Jon Rice may not be available next week.

Number of the Week

An Absolute S**tload

Number of Wells notices reportedly making their way into the mailboxes of US-based crypto firms recently.

Top Insights

Crypto Hedge Funds Outperform Wall St: Report — Blockworks
Token Distribution Tool Aims To Make Airdrops More Efficient — Blockworks
The Top Two Problems the Appchain Thesis Is Solving for Game Developers [Sponsored] — Blockworks
DeFi Startup Wants To Help Traders Hedge Uniswap Impermanent Loss — Blockworks
A New Inning for the Digital Asset Class [Sponsored] — Blockworks
CBDCs and Privacy Are Not Mutually Exclusive: ConsenSys Exec — Blockworks
Crypto Bridges Tend To Collapse: How Uniswap Is Optimizing for Safety — Blockworks
The Secret Behind ‘Set It and Forget It’ Crypto Investing Hacks [Sponsored] — Blockworks
Binance Bid for Singapore License is Back On — Blockworks
Kraken Steps Away from Signature Bank Due to Transfer Limitations — Blockworks

This newsletter is brought to you by:

The emergence of new global markets presents entrepreneurs with opportunities to build and grow businesses. But historically, the biggest challenge they’ve faced is a limited supply of USD-denominated capital.

The rise of stablecoins such as Circle’s USDC has started to overcome this challenge for entrepreneurs and institutions. Our upcoming Blockworks webinar will discuss USDC’s programmability to create efficiencies and transparency in capital markets, stablecoin regulatory considerations, and many more topics for those interested in closing the liquidity gap in emerging markets.

Join Blockworks Webinars and leaders from Circle, Clave, Credix, and Cumberland who will discuss the opportunities and use cases for deploying USDC in emerging capital markets.

Spots are limited. Register now for this important conversation on March 23rd.

Top News

Coinbase’s One River Acquisition Marks First in a Year — Blockworks
Crypto Carbon Credit Market Maker Eyeing Bahamas, Switzerland Outposts — Blockworks
Bitcoin Bull Michael Saylor Loses Bid to Dismiss Tax Evasion Lawsuit — Blockworks
STX Price Stacks Up Well, Outperforming Bitcoin — Blockworks
Silvergate, Signature Bet Big on Crypto: What Do They Actually Do? — Blockworks
Ripple Counsel’s Advice to Crypto Firms? Get Out of the US — Blockworks
Ethereum Developers Push Back Shanghai Upgrade to Early April
— Blockworks
Gillibrand, Lummis Plan Revamped Crypto Bill for April’ — Blockworks
$10B Mystery: Is OKB Really the 7th Largest Crypto? — Blockworks
Crypto Industry Has More Appetite To Fight: Kraken Exec — Blockworks

We're Hosting

Last chance! Harnessing the Power of Ownership for Web3 Gaming

Date: Tuesday, March 7th

Helping Solve the Emerging Markets Liquidity Gap with USDC

Date: Thursday, March 23rd

The Clock is Ticking...

Still Waiting to Buy Your Permissionless Ticket, Anon?

Snag your Permissionless ticket early to ensure you get those most “bang for your buck” or “entertainment for your ETH".

What's Trending

EIP-4337 is LIVE on Ethereum (Thread) - John Rising
What if we told you that it is possible to profit from perpetual futures with net-zero price exposure? (Thread) - Blockworks Research
I have analyzed the top bluechips (Thread) - Wale Swoosh
Yes, Shanghai means a lot of ETH is being unlocked (Thread) - Westie
We explore the newest in crypto gaming (Thread) - Blockworks Research
9 Lessons Learned from Losing it All with Crypto 4 Times (Thread) - saczyyy.eth
Coinbase Venture’s POV on the web3 security stack (Thread) - JK
Whale token investors (Thread) - Thor Hartvigsen
NFT royalties and fees have been extensively discussed with virtually no data (Thread) - hildobby
Beware of ponzinomics! (Thread) - Temmy

We're Watching

On this episode of Bell Curve, we discuss how Silvergate, the beleaguered crypto bank that failed to file its 10K, was just ditched by Coinbase (and friends) for Signature bank, resulting in a stock plunge of 50% in the last 24 hours.

🟪 Howey, Cheatum and Wye